Some places (mostly in TV and movies) have “Bring Your Child to Work” days. Some have “Bring Your Dog to Work” days. One place I used to work even had a “Bring Your Baby Elephant With a Clown Wig To Work” day (which I thought was weird, but we had, like, three people with clown-wigged … Continue reading You’re not unprofessional – you’re “fun”-professional!
No March Madness is madder than a chubby 40-year-old dude who wants to relive his basketball glory days. To be honest, I never really had any basketball glory days. I played high school hoops at a small school in Vermont, where I was a short skinny white dude in a sea of short skinny white … Continue reading The 40-Year-Old Shaq Attack
Being a kid is where it’s at. When I think back to when I was, say, nine years old, the world was a different place. When I was nine, all I knew about was the Ninja Turtles and the Super Mario Brothers, and all I cared about was Otter Pops, Superman movies, and Roald Dahl books. I never got overdue bills with my name on them; I got birthday cards with five dollars in them. When I was nine, police officers never asked me if I knew why they pulled me over; they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I never worried about where my food and clothing was going to come from; it was just there. And when I was nine, grown-ups all thought I was cute and Santa Claus was still real. I want to go back to THAT life. This is NOT a midlife crisis.